[Spoken Intro] Hey, how you doing? Um, I'm over in Canada at the moment, so I thought I'd write a little letter home, and do it in the form of a rap. I was gonna record this out in the street like a sick c*nt, but it's way too f**ing cold out there. It's ridiculous. So I just did it in my hotel. Hope you don't mind. Hope you don't mind the sound quality. You know, that's just how it is [Verse] Ayy ayo, what up, lords? I guess it's been a long time between pub crawls This is like a little letter home of some sort So just thought I'd write to let you know what's happened on tour 'Cause ever since I stepped up out my front door With my pa**port everything has been much more Weird, well like, weirder than once thought Thought I'd do a couple shows to an audience of f** all This Cool J comp was pretty hardcore They called me name, I couldn't figure who was stunned more Stood there looking shocked, like "I won, woah" So f**, thank you for all the support It seems so damn crazy to believe, yo I be goin' on a late night TV, neato Jimmy Kimmel, sh** man, it's heaps dope, please know That I ain't just doing it for me though Uh, so many timezones in my iPhone I'm tired though, I can sleep on the flight home Eight ribs and crayfish, paid tips And everything comes with chips, but over here they say crisps I'm tryna watch my thighs from the waffle frier They're mortified when I order a smaller portion size Cross the borderline north, and although it's warm inside No porky pies, outside it is minus fourty-five
Walk around with gloves and a numb face f** sake, other day I swear I heard this c*nt say "Ooh, it's warming up, uh" Depends on where you're from though Walked over snow in Texas and Toronto My homies went to check Niagra Falls I thought I'd more relax and record a rap before they're back It's awesome as, but I guess I felt sorta wack Tryna get my US quarter back from the laundromat In Canada, with different coins and that [Spoken Interlude] Goddamit, bruh. I felt stupid actually. I just gotta say I really miss my mates, and I miss my family. And I even miss you Jed, you little f**er. And happy birthday to my brother who's taller than me, which is annoying actually [Verse Cont.] Yo, I'll be home eventually Playing Xbox with friends and we can hit the weed We played the day I left, but I did not accept defeat So I flew around the world with this long as f** extension lead A lot of yanks got respect and compliments For the Boba Fett, but I did not forget to shop for bobbleheads Whole thing's been ill, surreal as f** It's wicked, and plus Sizzle's been k**in' them cuts Been just over a week since we jumped a plane and flew Hoped off in Adelaide, made a favourite friend Anyway, I should it wrap it up, that's all I should Yours faithfully, Seth, everyday's a good day [Spoken Outro] Peace. Hey, um, I'ma see you guys real soon. I'll be home for Groovin the Moo, and then we'll do Dear Science, and f**in' hang out, and um, yeah, f**ing love you guys. Peace