my throat knots
as I repeat your name
my heart shrinks then grows
thrusting itself
against my chest
even when you're under
on top I'll deny
you're not there
you're not there
time comes
no grasp on self
I choke and release
you were my friend
my eyes bulge
as I count the few years
my heart stops
and shivers with our memories
even when I'm under
I know your on top
Refusing that I'm there
I am your friend
You're my friend