DEWEY:
The first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band to be. So who do you like ? Blondie ?
MARTA:
Christina Aguilera.
DEWEY:
Who ? No. Come on. What ? You, Shortstop.
LEONARD:
Puff Daddy.
DEWEY:
Wrong. Billy ?
BILLY:
Liza Minnelli ?
DEWEY:
What are you... ? You guys ! This project is called "Rock Band". I'm talking about bands that rock. Led Zeppelin. Don't tell me you guys never got the Led out. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant ? Ring any bells ? What about Sabbath ? AC/DC ? Mötorhead ? Oh, what do they teach in this place ? ! Summer, you're the cla** whatever, go to the board.
SUMMER:
Factotum.
DEWEY:
"Factotor". New schedule. 8:15 to 10, Rock History. Ten to 11, Rock Appreciation and Theory. Then band practice till the end of the day.
FRANKIE:
- What about math ?
DEWEY:
- No. Not important.
MARTA:
World cultures ?
DEWEY:
- Not important. We need to focus. Don't you wanna win this contest ? It's prestigious.
SUMMER:
Question: How are we being graded in all this ? Since I'm band manager, and I have the most responsibility, wouldn't... ?
DEWEY:
Summer, if you grade-grub, I will send you back to the first grade. You got it ?Back to your seat now.
SUMMER:
Fine.
- What are we gonna play ?
DEWEY:
You don't have to worry about that. We have awesome material, which I wrote.
Let's hear it.
DEWEY:
- What ?
- Let's hear your song.
DEWEY:
You wanna hear my song ? I'll play you my song, if you want. The thing is, I just want you to keep in mind, I wrote it in, like, 15 minutes. It's not done. You might not like...
FREDDY:
Just play the song, Schneebly.
DEWEY:
OK, I will sing it for you, but let me just get in the zone.I was not planning on unveiling it, but I will sing it. BLLLLP! Tip of the tongue, teeth and the lips. BLLLLP! OK. It starts off... a dark stage, and then a beam of light,and you can see me and my guitar.
In the end of time
There was a man
Who knew the road
And the writing
Was written on the stone
And then a thin layer of fog comes in around my ankles. Roadies, that means dry ice. We're gonna talk about this later.
In the ancient time
An artist led the way
But no one
Seemed to understand
Chimes, Freddy.
In his heart he knew
The artist must be true
But the legend of the rent
Was way past due
And then, Katie, you come in with the ba**.
Well, you think you'll be just fine
Without me, but you're mine
You think you can
Kick me out of the band
And then, Zack, you come in with a face-melter. OK ?
Well, there's just one problem there
The band is mine
How can you kick me out
Of what is mine ?
And then... Hawaii Five-O. You ever see that show ? OK, well, there's a drum solo in it that goes:
You're not hardcore
Unless you live hardcore
And I want the backup singers to be like:
Well, you're not hardcore
(No, you're not hardcore)
Unless you live hardc...
(Unless you live hardcore)
But the legend of the rent
Was way hardcore
Boom ! Big old explosion. Some, like, confetti comes down. That's all I got so far. It's a work in progress.
SUMMER:
I liked it, Mr. Schneebly. I thought it was really catchy.
DEWEY:
Thank you.