PIRELLI (sung)
I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da king of da barbers
Da barber of kings
E Buon Giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss
And I, da so famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is p**s!
Who says this?
TODD (spoken)
I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but
An arrant fraud, concocted from p**s and ink. Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a
Cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank
PIRELLI (spoken)
You hear dis foolish man? Now please you will see how he will regret his folly!
TODD (spoken)
Who's for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
BAMFORD (spoken)
Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbours! The fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner!
PIRELLI (sung)
Now signorini, signori
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather
Around signorini, signori
You looking a man
Who had-a da glory
To shave-a da pope
Misterr Sweeney, whoever
I beg-a da pardon
You'll probably say-a it was only a cardinal
Nope!
It was-a da pope!
To shave-a da face
To cut-a da hair
Require a grace
Require da flare
For if-a you slip
You nick da skin
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit beyond-a repair
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart
Not just-a da flash
It take-a Panash
It take-a da pa**ion for da art
To shave-a da face
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me by God
It take-a da sk**
It take-a da brains
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da grace
BAMFORD (spoken)
The winner--is Todd!