[Donald Trump:] Now Carolla, why did ya team Lose!?
[Adam Carolla:] Now hold on a second, & buy the way
[static]
[Obama:] My Fellow Americans, I'd like to announce that I'm running for uh, president of America, as a Black Man this time!
I did some time in jail,
I did a crime with Michelle
We stole from fried watermelon
Yip Yippity Ki Yay
I'm known to smack up a b**h
I got kool-aid in the fridge
I never met my kids
Their real dad is Kanye
Guns yeah I sold em
Hoes tricks yeah I told em
Blunts, Spliffs, yeah I rolled em
Chronic nugs of homegrown K.B.
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
No please don't tase me
My name's Obama
I was born in Haiti
I still get food stamps
I'm just lazy
I'm still on welfare
So f** you pay me
They might arrest you
But you could blame me
They'll pull me over
Incarcerate me
If I get unemployed
sh** don't phase me
My name's Obama
I roll with Jay-Z
Jay-Z, Jee, Jeezer?
Are you young Jeezer?
How'd you get in the White House?
I smoke a lot of Newports
I sit a lot on the porch
I stole 2012 Porsche
From my Neighbors Driveway
I did alotta of drug deals
I k**ed Osama for treals
I blamed it on Navy SEALS
And f**ed his b**h sideways
Bro, yeah I'm holdin'
Rocks weed meth h**n
White House garden showin'
What you think I'm growin' daisies?
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
No it's OK see
My name's Obama
I'm half Kuwaiti
It's hard to look white
Robbing Macy's
Give me the FUBU
Don't try to play me
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
No please don't mace me
My name's Obama
I dance like Swayze
If you live in Detroit
Yawta thank me
My name's Obama
I'm Pakistani
Before I came in the White House
I used to smoke crack
I used to sold crack
I used to roll so black
I was born in Dubai
I'd like to go back
Where's all my hoes at?
Take off your clothes
And don't talk back
Now the American people have a clear choice
Would you like to be smacked with a pimp cane?
Or with the back of my hand?
It's hard to look white
When I'm smackin' Ladies
So it's no wonder
Ya'll crackers hate me
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
And this is crazy
I stealed your hummer
And throwed your baby
Sandusky touched a boy
Or so they say see
My name's Obama
Chicken is tasty
Before I came in the White House
I used to smoke crack
I use to sold crack
I use to roll so black
If all you haters don't like me
Lick my ba**sack
Ya'll haters fall back
So f** you pay me
I mean do we really need another black guy on unemployment right now?
I'm sorry I get that from my mother
She is a typical white person