[Verse 1]
Hear a knock on the door, it's the cops again
(We know you're in there)
Said hold on could I finish my Chicken
(almost done with this bucket)
They said we got a report that you did some sh**
(SHHHHHEEEEEEEEIIIITT)
I said "please officer, let me explain"
(I'm a splain you)
You see I'm a Black man
In Arabic they call me Abed
It's Mooley in Italian
But if you ask the Jews how to say
It
They'll say
[Hook 1]
I am a Shvartza
Playin Magic Cardsa
Throwin me some Dartsa
Tryin to have Fuuuuun
I am a Shvartza
Stealin shoppin Cartsa
Wish upon a Startza
Swingin round my gun
[Bridge 1]
(Nice try pal)
(You're coming with us)
Break into yo House
"('m tellin you the truf man)
(Tell it to the judge)
Lemme take yo Couch
(thanks mane)
[Verse 2]
Police took me to Jail where I stayed all day
(I remember this place)
(Woogie boogie)
Took me Weed, and my Gun, and my Gucci shades
(Where my Shades man)
(I can't see)
Went to Court and the judge said What do you say
(How do you Plead young man?)
I said your Honor lemme talk if I may
(May I proach this Court)
I'm a n***a you see
Maw la cha in Cantonese
Vaole zwetzak in Flemish
Fuzzy in British
And the way to say it in
Yiddish
Is
[Hook 2]
I am a Shvartza
Drawin me some Heartsa
Doin Crafts and Artsa
Never met my sooooon
I am a Shvartza
Lettin out some Fartsa
Oops that was a Shartsa
Fried Kool-Aid for Luuuuunch
[Bridge 2]
(I sentence you to d**h Row)
(the record label?)
Break into yo House
(But I'm only 35 man)
(I ain't even finish High School)
Can I stay on yo Couch?
(Any last words?)
[Verse 3]
I'm a Shvartza
Ridin golf carts
In the Park
In the Dark
And i'm eatin Pop Tarts -tza
When Fire stats
You know I ain't far -tza
Burn down the City
Cause I finish what I start -tza
Your Dog barks at me
When I walk by
I'm like Why
But i'm Smart
Steal your Car
For it's Parts -tza
End up behind Bars
Watching Bill Maher
And I keep gettin my a** beat
By the Jail Guards
[Hook 3]
Shvartza
Shoppin at Walmart -tza
I don't work too Hard -tza
Hanging in the Suuuuun
I am Ben Carson
Driving in my Car-son
Drinking at the Bar-son
Presidential Ruuuuun
(I will be running for Office of America)
Break in the White House
(It's the Job I need)
(under conditions of my Parole)
C'mon man this my House
(And I also sellin magazine subscriptions)
Break into yo House
[Outro]
(And so I ask you American people to vote my a** President)
(please)