Tell her a fairy tale
How one's life should read
Her tiny head filled
With high hopes and dreams
Mother dear you promised her
A place in the sun
A girl's special day
Where she's the only one
There's a charming prince
Down on one knee
Who swears he'll be true
And a bloody diamond ring of gla**
That he's financed just for you
Well he's got a car, some credit cards
Its love at first glance
And she does it all in the name of romance
How they'll dance
Valentines and senior proms
Don't kiss on first dates
An Ivy League school
Where you'll meet your soul mate
Now Hollywood and magazines
Show me what to expect
I know your clock's tickin' girl
But where's your self respect
Cuz when the church bells ring
The chaplain reads some words you ignore
Dressed in that gaudy gown, a hand-me-down
That your grandma so adored
Yeah the bridesmaids scream when flowers thrown
Oh we'd all love the chance
To break a heel
In the name of romance
Off to France
Queen of Wall St. showed the boys
She could spit with the best
But you're not a woman ‘til you've played God
A coupl'a kids and mom and dad would be impressed
(mom and dad will be so impressed)
So its off to night school one more time to pa** their test
(don't cha know I'll pa** their test)
Adoption's not an option
I need physical proof that they're mine
(Hey don't just stand around lookin' gorgeous)
Hurry I'm in my prime
(We're in this together, so much pressure...)
We're only talkin' ‘bout my life
So give me what's rightly mine
Always the bridesmaid never once the bride
(So get back in line)
Now those wedding vows that you recite
Well don't speak too soon
You naughty bachelorette, now when in Rome
Another pointless honeymoon
Well you force a tear as daddy dear
Gives away baby's hand
A heart attack is faked
A big mistake, romance
You live to make a scene
The drama queen, romance
She'll probably k** herself
All in the name of romance