(Spoken) No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent Sunday-school teacher for me That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever... listen boy... A girl who trades on all that purity Merely wants to trade my independence for her security (Sung) The only affirmative she will file Refers to marching down the aisle No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir! For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss? I spark, I fizz, for the lady who knows what time it is I cheer, I rave, for the virtue I'm too late to save The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir! That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance No dewy young miss who keeps resisting All the time she keeps insisting No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, no sir! Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you see? Plop! I flinch, I shy when the la** with the delicate air goes by I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more 'A' The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me The sadder but wiser girl for me