1st Salesman Cash for the merchandise, cash for the bu*ton hooks 3rd Salesman Cash for the cotton goods, cash for the hard goods 1st Salesman Cash for the fancy goods 2nd Salesman Cash for the noggins and the piggins and the firkins 3rd Salesman Cash for the hogshead, cask and demijohn Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper 4th Salesman Look whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk? 5th Salesman Wheredayagitit? 4th Salesman Whatayatalk? 1st Salesman Ya can talk, ya can talk, ya can bicker, ya can talk Ya can bicker, bicker, bicker, ya can talk, ya can talk Ya can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker, bicker, bicker Ya can talk all ya want but is different than it was Charlie No it ain't, no it ain't, but you gotta know the territory Rail Car Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh 3rd Salesman Why it's the Model T Ford made the trouble Made the people wanna go, wanna get, wanna get Wanna get up and go seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve Fourteen, twenty-two, twenty-three miles to the county seat 1st Salesman Yes sir, yes sir 3rd Salesman Who's gonna patronize a little bitty two by four kinda store anymore? 4th Salesman Whaddaya talk, whaddaya talk 5th Salesman Where do you get it? 3rd Salesman Gone, gone Gone with the hogshead cask and demijohn Gone with the sugar barrel pickle barrel, milk pan Gone with the tub and the pail and the tierce 2nd Salesman Ever meet a fellow by the name of Hill? 1st Salesman Hill? Charlie Hill? 3rd Salesman Hill? 4th Salesman Hill? 1st Newspaper Hill? 2nd Newspaper Hill? 5th Salesman Hill? 2nd Salesman Hill! All But Charlie & 2nd Salesman
NO! Charlie Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute 4th Salesman Never heard of any salesman Hill 2nd Salesman Now he doesn't know the territory 1st Salesman Doesn't know the territory?!? 3rd Salesman What's the fellow's line? 2nd Salesman Never worries 'bout his line 1st Salesman Never worries 'bout his line?!? 2nd Salesman Or a doggone thing, He's just a bang beat, bell ringing Big haul, great go, neck-or-nothing, rip roarin' Every time a bull's eye salesman That's Professor Harold Hill, Harold Hill 3rd Salesman What's the fellow's line? 5th Salesman What's his line? Charlie He's a fake, and he doesn't know the territory! Look, whaddaya talk, whaddaya talk, whaddaya talk, whaddaya talk? 2nd Salesman He's a music man He's a what? 3rd Salesman He's a what? 2nd Salesman He's a music man and he sells clarinets To the kids in the town with the big trombones And the rat-a-tat drums, big bra** ba**, big bra** ba** And the piccolo, the piccolo with uniforms, too With a shiny gold braid on the coat and a big red stripe runnin'... 1st Salesman Well, I don't know much about bands but I do know You can't make a living selling big trombones, no sir Mandolin picks, perhaps and here and there a Jew's harp... 2nd Salesman No, the fellow sells bands, Boys' bands I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king And he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir Charlie But he doesn't know the territory!