Dear Penelope, I'm writing this letter
That last time I saw you seems like forever
Ago, and I've been carried to the sea
You always said that I was married to the sea
And who would have thought it would take ten years
For Troy to fall, we shed blood and shed tears
I lost so many friends for Menelaus' sake
Each new day brought new heart break
Yeah, I maybe made some mistakes
But should a god get the bull while I miss the steak
Well I thought that was bull, he thought it ungrateful,
did I deserve ten years, that seems a bit hateful
there's probably some things that I should cop to
I haven't exactly been faithful to you
At least two times we landed on islands
I was seduced, but I'm not two timing you,
I was bewitched and had to save my men
I took one for the team, I guess you could say then
I apologize that was my choice at the time
This girl was turning my men into swine
And Calypso, she was all over me
I did as much as I could to keep her from me
A real witch, she bewitched me
Kept me prisoner while I longed for the sea
What would you do, And if that wasn't enough
We landed on an island full of Cyclops
Captured and prisoned by Polyphemus
A prize to him, he wanted to eat us
To escape he needed to turn a blind eye
So what did I do, I blinded his eye
That dude counted sheep like he was going to sleep
That didn't stop us from riding out underneath
And when he screamed how come, I told him no one
And we got right back out on the ocean
And I dreamt once again of my home coming
I'm coming home for you, you're the one that I'm loving
Ten Years at War
Ten Years at Sea
Now I get my Penelope
Who would have thought
Who have guessed
that you girl are the best
of all that I am
and all that I know
Penelope I'm coming home
Ten Years at War
Ten Years at Sea
Now I get my Penelope
Dear Penelope, I hope you got my last letter
Don't worry about Circe, I already forgot her
Lets see, its been six years and two months
Yesterday my men and I tried a new drug
They weren't purple pills or matrix blue
They were made from a lotus and I dreamt you
You were bright as the moon and I was a spaceman
Aiming for you, and you were my heaven
That's why I awoke and got to my feet
Got back on my boat and back on the sea
It's for you that I sail, risk everything
Monsters and whales, I beat everything
I don't miss anything more than I miss you
Keep weaving for me, I'm coming for you
And tell Telemachus I'll see him soon
When I left he was boy, I hope he's a man too
And the two of you can care for each other
I miss being a father, but he has his mother
I wonder, Does he take after me?
Does he stand on the ramparts and gaze at the sea
Can he shoot the bow, has he grown strong
Did he hold down the fort while his father was gone
Will he k** a man if the time ever comes
I need him to be a man when I get home
In effort to help you not worry about me
I should tell you a goddess protects me
She gives me my nerve to sail to Ithaca
Her name is Minerva, we call her Athena
Her steel grey eyes give me strength when I'm lost
Fill me with hope when I drown in my loss
As for my men they miss their families
And look forward to the end of this long journey
Because of me they have worked, stood by when it's worse
When a man has died, it's with them that I hurt
And even on the steps of d**h they have stepped
And I know they are loyal, they'll step to the d**h
Chorus
Dear Penelope, by the time you get this
I hope that I'm home and can kiss your lips
I got your last letter, dropped off by a dove
On the wings of Athena, sealed with your love
I'm sorry to hear that after 20 long years
Men who would be king have brought you to tears
What have they done to my home, how have they treated my wife
If they've touched anything, I will end their life
I'll round up my son, I'll call on my friends
I'll string up my bow and wield it again
Arrows through the eye, daggers through the heart
I hope they run screaming out through my yard
I'll cripple their legs and laugh wile they crawl
I'll wait till they beg, then I'll piss on them all
I'll look in their eyes, watch their tears fall
Then I'll take out my sword and slaughter them all
And tell Telemachus its time to grow up
If he can stomach this and not throw up
Then I'll know he's my boy, the true crown prince
I'll give him a spear so he can stab them with it
We'll feast on their hearts, lambs to the slaughter
Then I'll silence the lambs like Hannible Lecter
Do they think I'll give up after all I've been through
Ill scare them to d**h 'til their blood turns blue
And I know you're my queen, our love is true
If you were unfaithful… no that's not true
Ill take back my throne, recover my kingdom
There will be no white flag, just me and my vengeance
Ill destroy these men who would be king
This is my home and I'm never leaving
But I say that with my tongue in my cheek
Because I know there will be one last journey
But for now I'm home, where we live by the oar
Where the wind is our mistress and the sea is our who*e
But I love you forever, you are my queen
I'm finally home for you, Penelope