I'm full of Christmas semen, I don't know what that is but it's hot
It's a sparkling orgasm, inside an oatmeal cookie shot
And when I put my Santa hat on it's a needle full of Christmas glee
Coating my house in frilly sh**
And Disney trademark intellectual property
Cause it's snowing
I love shopping
And I fu fu fu fu fu f**ing love Christmas
Setting up the lights
So my f**ing house sings
Cause I'm f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas
If Christmas was living
I'd f** it to d**h
And then consume it's body
For it's Christmas breath
Cause it's growing
I'm not stopping
I fufufuf**ing love Christmas
Ladies and gentlemen, did you know that on top of dying for all our sins, Jesus Christ plays a wicked electric guitar? LISTEN! You dance! You f**ing dan ce! That's our lord and savior you mother f**ers!
I'll buy all things red and green
Accumulating thousands in debt
I'll let it ruin my life
Making it the best Christmas yet
And I'll play those Christmas carols until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer
It'll scare the sh** outta you but it's only getting bigger every year!
Cause it's snowing
I love shopping
And I fu fu fu fu fu f**ing love Christmas
I love those stop motion shows
That scare the sh** outta me
Cause I'm f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas
I bathe in hot chocolate ‘til my skin is red
And I'll sing Christmas songs until your soul is dead
Cause I'm soaking
In sweet toppings
And I f**ing love Christmas
And the feels, and the deals, and the meals, and the steals at the Sears
Keep it longer, make it stronger, nothing's wrong here, I could stay here all year
Smell the crazy, feeling hazy, something's tasty, at the Macy's downtown
Getting higher, feeling wired, I'm inspired, I'm on fire right now
I love the over marketing for making deplumes
By the way this song's available on itunes
I wanna smash it open ‘til it's stiff and cold
And maybe search its brains for its Christmas gold
And then drink it's blood ‘til I lose control
And the Christmas madness will take it's toll!
Tranquilizer hits him
It's snowing
And I love shopping
And I fufufufufuf**ing love Christmas
Enough to build tranquilizer immunity
I must be f**ing batsh** crazy about Christmas
I'll k** anyone not celebrating with me
Your resistance is feeding my insanity
Cause it's snowing
I love shopping
So put that star on top the tree
And buy me a f**ing tv
We're going on a shopping spree
My stockings filled with DVDs
I my heart is filling up with glee
Can't help what's is going over me
I fufufufuf**ing love Christmas