Any chimp can play human for a day
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
And run for office on election day
Fancy himself a real decision-maker
And deploy more troops than salt shakers (Sh-kk, sh-kk, sh-kk)
But it's a jungle when war is made
And you'll panic and throw your own sh** at the enemy
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity:
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing
A smoking, gun-holding ape
Any a**hole can open up a museum
Put all of the things he loves on display so everyone could see 'em
The house, a car, a thoughtful wife
Ordinary moments in his ordinary life
But if she breaks a smile, she'll give you away
'Cause no one wants to pay to see your happiness
No one wants to pay to see your day-to-day
And I'm not buying it either, but I'll try selling it anyway
Any idiot can play Greek for a day
And join a sorority or write a tragedy
And articulate all that pain
And maybe you'll get paid
But it's a sin when success complains
And your writers block, it don't mean sh**
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks
Gotta write a hit, I think this is it
It's a hit
And if it's not
Then it's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
Shoo-bop-shoo-bop, my baby
Any fool can play executioner for a day
And say with fingers pointed in both directions, "He went that-a-way"
It's only a switch or syringe
Ahh, exempt from eternal sins
But you still wear a cross
And you think you're gonna get in
Ahh, but the pardons never come from upstairs
They're always a moment too late
But it's entertainment, keep the crowd on their toes
It's justice, we're safe
It's not a hit, it's a holiday
Shoo-bop-shoo-wop, my baby
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
I'm a holiday for hanging, I'm a holiday for hanging
I'm a holiday, yeah
I'm a holiday for hanging
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah