Remember I made you eat crab apple
And you were sick for a week
Then I stuck your s**y up the chimney
'Till you cried for a week
Then I k**ed your canary with the hair dryer
And kicked you just to see you bruise
Purple and blue
I was only joking my dear
Didn't mean to hurt you all those years
Thought that they were really laughter tears
I was only joking my dear
Oh dear
Remember I told everyone you went all the way
With that fella from Artane
And all the blokes called you Seven Stars
When we were on our way to Ma** with Ma
Then to make matters worse when you blushed
I called you beetrout and tomato head
Purple and red
I was only joking my dear
Didn't mean to hurt you all these years
Thought that they were really laughter tears
I was only joking my dear
Remember I borrowed your favorite jeans
Took them in and cut them at the seams
So they'd fit me
You went ballistic when I called your boyfriend
Chancre head and made ashtrays from your
Bread records...
Oh well, what the hell, you got your own back
Purple and black
I was only joking my dear
Didn't mean to hurt you all these years
Thought that they were really laughter tears
I was only joking my dear
I was only joking my dear
Didn't mean to hurt you all those years
Thought that they were really laughter tears
I was only joking my dear
Oh dear