Yo
You remember when your mommy used to take you to church
And tie your shoes so tight until your ankles hurt?
Everybody in the spirit, me myself I'm bored
But mama spanked me in my head and I was "Praise the Lord!"
When the choir started singin all you seen was gals
But there was one particular girl I wanted to be my pal
Her name was Jenny, she never used to come outside
Cause her parents were rich and real dignified
When she was a regular on Sunday school
I said "Ma, I wanna join," she said (shut up, fool)
So I ran to the preacher and I begged to serve
He said (you in Sunday school, you must be out yo mind!
You is the baddest little thing that the church done seen
You get suspended every month, you're too bad, Raheem!)
So I went down on my knee and said, "Holy Christ
Thy is the ???? and the eternal light"
So he looked at me a minute and he said (Yeah cool
But I'm tellin ya, my mama didn't raise no fool
First rule and regulation if you step out of line
I'ma throw you in the street on your narrow behind!)
So I got up off the ground and I was "Yeah man, peace"
Started minglin with [Names] and Denise
As I mingled with the ladies Jenny walked on by
I was stuck between "hello," "how you're doin" and "hi"
But I finally said somethin and the girl said (hey..)
I musta prayed all week for the next Sunday
Now the Sunday finally came and I was in my seat
When the teacher wrote on the board 'Raheem, do not speak'
I ain't really come for speakin, so I ain't get vexed
Until she started askin questions and mine was next
Jenny lookin at me, man, I gotta get this right
The teacher said (cla**, we're out of time, you can finish tonight)
So I caught up with the girl and said, "Hey, I'm new
But I'd really like to spend a little time with you
Maybe candle light dinner or a movie or two
Or maybe just the wild thing," she said (not with you
I'm a church-going girl, you gotta marry me first)
I said, "What? You ain't old enough to carry a purse!"
She said (My mama always told me that's the thing with men
If you let em get it once, you never see em again)
Well, I asked her for her number but her mom came in
And said (Jenny, don't you let me see you talking to him
He's a crooked ?????, ain't gon' be jack)
I was kinda insulted but I ain't sweat that crap
Well, we made it to the church, the preacher started to preach
I fell asleep cause he was speakin that same old speech
Started dreamin 'bout Jenny, boy, and all I seen
Was me and her in full effect with a little Raheem
Now the Sunday after that I'm in the mood for s**
I said, "Jenny, skip the church, so we can rub some necks"
(Ah-ah, I'm a virgin and I'll always be
And it's guys like you that make it hard for me)
Cut the frontin, baby doll, you know you want some of this
So put your Bible on the ground and give the Father a kiss
(Kiss you? A-ah, you must be sick in your head)
Well, forget the kissin, baby, take it straight to the bed
Cause I'm the real enchilada when the heat gets warm
And I been waitin on your body since the day I was born
No need to rush because we still got time
And I'ma give you 30 seconds just to show you that I'm
The one perfect for the job of helpin you to get off
Any other you meet, I guarantee he'll be soft
No stamina in his body, he ain't know how to ride
I can even give a ??ma**age?? let you stand outside
(Ooh - Raheem, you crazy and you make me sick)
I got the perfect thing for you, and this is it
Throw away your negativity and have some fun
Cause who knows when this is over and your life is done
If you really go to heaven or you're goin to hell
Are you ready now, baby? (Well, I might as well)
12 o'clock Monday evening, that's the time of the crime
But she on the 4th floor and that's a ladder to climb
When I got up to the ladder she was up there sleep
Snorin louder than a mother countin many a sheep
I said, "Damn!" so I tapped her gla**
And tried to wake the girl but nearly bust my -
Well, I went home mad cause I never did get none
But that ain't nothin cause I gotta meet the next one
Before I go there's one thing I'ma mention
Never mess around with a girl if she a Born Again Christian