The mongrel cat came home
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his new found friends
He said "I been where I liked
I slept with who I liked
She ate me up for breakfast
And screwed me in a vice
And now I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied"
I sat in the cupboard
And wrote it down in neat
They were cheering and waving
Cheering and waving
Twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis
But it got edited f**ed up
Strangled, beaten up
Used as a photo in Time magazine
Buried in a burning black hole in Devon
"I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied
Don't know why
I feel so skinned alive."
My thoughts are misguided and a little naive
I twitch and I salivate like with myxomatosis
You should put me in a home or you should put me down
I got myxomatosis
I got myxomatosis
"now no one likes a smart arse but we all like stars"
That wasn't my intention, I did it for a reason
It must have got mixed up
Strangled, beaten up
I got myxomatosis
I got myxomatosis
"I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied"