[Verse 1: Probably Paul]
Listen here, it's just time to get literal
Lyrical as f** with words that are spiritual
k** it like a battle with Wayne against Eminem
f**ing with the innocents with my f**ing innocence
Winning it like an outplayed Charlie Sheen joke
Derogatory girls that like's mother f**ing Mean Hoes
We know why I cry every night
Because I can't win in a fight it's alright
Because I'm from New York
Like who f**ing knew, right?
Playing with a fork at a toxic waste sight
His lyrics so tight, and he's so damn polite
In real life, instead of me, he stabbed my mom with a knife
And flew away on a kite, so light, alright
Who the f** wrote this sh** down on my pad?
Who the f** ate my Mackeral Scad?
I won't pronounce you like the capital of Chad
I'm a Dad, ain't that a bit of sad
Couldn't find a condom on my dick so I used a shoulder pad
sh**'s hot as f**, a toilet heating pad
f**ed a dead squirrel somehow proceeded to start tetrad
My dick was on a newspaper ad, I punched an old lady in the gut
Then went out, ate out her bu*t, then her mutt, then I got my best nut
[Bridge]
Oh sh**, you are a f**ing dick weed
I roll my co*k blunts, and then I go and proceed to cry
About my mother f**ing problems
And I have no f**ing way to solve them
I'm so solemn right now, but soon I think I will be lightsome
[Verse 2: Probably Paul]
So here's the main damn attraction
Action, please start a distraction
Or my career's in a casket
And I'mma kick it off mother f**ing blasting
Sublime, because I'm mother f**ing blasted
I'm asking all of the people in the room to please be themselves today
The act is going to be a bit delayed
Probably Paul and Nique, okay?
Then some guy in the back is like fu*k STEVE HARVEY!
Okay, I think you're at the wrong concert
Your statement was such a f**ing co*k hurt
Bad day like Conker, f** I hope I conquer the world
So any b**h I could go bonkers on their honkers
Mad ba**, man face it, I'm racing hearts
I'm shooting baskets, I'm Jason Hart
Use a navigational chart to get you in my room
Then I'll rape you
Then I'll staple you on the front sign of Staples
Near a maple Tree
[Verse 3: Probably Paul]
Playing baseball, G
f**, I'd rather be studying freemasonry
Maybe I am studying freemasonry?
f** that sh**, In the war with some blazonry
Yeah I'm blazing, free styling, regurgitate
f**ing masturbate, ingurgitate cum
I'mma do what I hope I can
Because I'm sitting in Lincoln Park feeling kinda numb
Humming to myself, chewing some gum
Chilling, it's the good life, stab a b**h that's my wife
Fundamental issues and I'm starting to start a strife
I don't give a f** if you double take me damn twice
I f**ing stab you in the f**ing dick
In the arctic, with a f**ing chopstick
b**hes on my hot dick wanna lick my hot cum
God, I'm dumb
Bring a gun to the auditorium, saying I'm awesome