As I sat in me window one evening
A letterman came unto me
With a nice little gilt invitation
Saying "Gilhooley come over for tea".
I knew that the Fogarties sent it,
So I went for old friendship's sake,
But the first thing they gave me to tackle
Was a piece of Miss Fogarty's cake.
Chorus:
There were plums and prunes and berries,
Raisins and currants and cinnamon too!
There were nuts and cloves and cherries,
And a crust that was nailed on with glue!
There were caraway seeds in abundance
That would give you a fine stomach ache
That would k** a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake!
Miss Mulligan wanted to taste it,
But really there wasn't no use,
For they worked at it over an hour
And couldn't get none of it loose
Till Murphy he went for the hatchet
And Kelly came in with a saw.
That cake was enough by the powers above
For to paralyze any man's jaw.
Chorus
Miss Fogarty, proud as a peaco*k,
Kept smiling and blinking away
Till she tripped over Flanagan's brogans
And spilled a whole brewing of tea.
"Oh, Gilhooley", she cried, "you're not eating!
Try a little bit more for my sake!"
"No, thank you", says I, "I've no courage to try
To force down any more of that cake."
Chorus
Maloney was took with the colic,
McNaulty complained of his head,
O'Donnell lay down on the sofa
And swore that he wished he was dead.
Miss Bailey fell down in hysterics
And her legs, they did wriggle and shake
And everyone swore they were poisoned
Just from eating Miss Fogarty's cake.
Chorus
Though the taste is seductive, it makes me refluxive: Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake.