He's never been much of a charmer or a looker
That's why he just pretends to be some other f**er
He's learned the songs they sing and all the moves they make
He even walks and talks like them for heaven's sake
He's not obsessed with celebrity
Just dresses up as people with more style and personality
Than he
Has
You should see him as Elvis
His top lip curled into a sneer
Or you should see his Freddie Mercury
Although he says he's not a queer
Not a queer
And when the show is done he takes off his wig
Takes off the fancy clothes and lights up a cig
Sits in the dressing room in his underpants
There's nothing left of him no magic, no romance
From Superstar to nonentity
He's made a quick return to what pa**es for normality
For me
and you
But you should see him as Tom Jones
A hairy Chest Wig 'neath his shirt
You should see him as the Pet shop Boys
My God those gerbils really hurt
They really hurt
You should see his Neil Diamond
He makes a real beautiful noise
Or come and watch his Gary Glitter
He's doing alright with the boys
and the girls