[Verse One]
Alcohol was my gateway drug to Tylenol
The reason you would ever see me up in the mall
With a big brown bag that says "Not to drink and drive"
And sometimes I'm surprised that I made it home alive
Cause the city has always been slapping me around
Trying to hide but so easily found
Like a pound of bud trying to sneak over the boarder
Found and stopped, they must retain order
I'm not here, nudge nudge, wink wink
The only time I'm present is chasing weed with drink
You think I'm negative?
Then you're underestimating
Been in talks with the devil renegotiating
He can see that he's got a bright future in me
I'm a terrible person you wouldn't want to be
Got a secret life outside hip hop and work
My private symphony, all alone doing dirt
So I drink
To keep my tooth ache shy
But it's a social bu*terfly, living in a pigsty
Dentist's don't f** with me I can't call it
Or they be pulling all credit cards out the wallet
In the meantime I eat Tylenol 3
If you were in my sh**ty shoes I'm sure you'd agree
That somehow you gotta dull the thumping sickness
And the pain leaves fast like the money with the quickness
When I drink
[Scratching]
"Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away"
"Why oh why do I live this way?"
[Hook]
I drink to keep from worrying
Smile to keep from crying
It's a mean old world that almost stopped me from trying
I got trapped in a haze of booze and weed
Lost my focus, no longer knew what I need
And I would feed the beer monster whenever it asked
Single malt, always in a Pip Skid flask
Similar to my mom, a person I hold dear
She could hold her rye and I could hold my beer
[Verse Two]
Tormented by my conscious, wouldn't want it another way
But holy sh**, this is a f**ed up day
I'ma stay home, pace around my bachelor pad
I'm like a really good, anti-marijuana ad
Looking bad
But had to release the pressure
Clothes all on the floor like I was protesting dresser
Hiding out, P-noid like Nice & Smooth
Looking through the peep hole thinking it's time to move
Eating some stupid sh** at a stupid hour
But the world pushes me to be bitter and sour
Force a smile and put a flame to that thickness
And the pain leaves fast like the money with the quickness
When I smoke
[Scratching]
"Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away"
"Why oh why do I live this way?"
[Verse Three]
Used to start my night off with a liter of Strongbow
It ends me bugging the DJ, "Could you play another song? No?"
On so much drama, I'm like hotel linen
But you don't wanna eat then immediately go swimming
So I would wait at least two before I'd drown my system
I saw Pharcyde play back in the day but I missed 'em
I blamed the Old E that used to coat my throat
But I was young and had the stomach lining of a goat
And my theory was that if I drank quality beers
I'd give my wafer thin body a couple more years
And a couple years is all I got, now I get sick
When I tip the yeasty bottle to my skinny little lips
Slumped over, can't breathe, break out in hives
Being forced off the liquor was a blessing in disguise
Instead I exercise try to fix my mistakes
You gotta listen to your body when it puts on the breaks
When I think
[Scratching]
"Now sometimes I put it down and back away"
"Why oh why do I live this way?"
[Hook]
I drink to keep from worrying
Smile to keep from crying
It's a mean old world that almost stopped me from trying
I got trapped in a haze of booze and weed
Lost my focus, no longer knew what I need
And I would feed the beer monster whenever it asked
Jaegermeister, always in a Pip Skid flask
Similar to my mom, a person I hold dear
She could hold her rye and I could hold my beer
[Scratching]
"Why oh why do I live this way?"
"Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away, but it be calling me"
[Outro]
"If that's your idea of an amba**ador, we're headed for a lot of trouble"