SCENE II (Madame Jourdain, Monsieur Jourdain, Dorimène, Dorante, Musicians, Lackeys)
MADAME JOURDAIN:
Aha! I find good company here, and I see that I was not expected. Was it for this pretty affair, Monsieur Husband, that you were so eager to send me to dinner at my sister's? I just saw stage decorations downstairs, and here I see a banquet fit for a wedding. That is how you spend your money, and this is how you entertain the ladies in my absence, and you give them music and entertainment while sending me on my way.
DORANTE:
What are you saying, Madame Jourdain? And what fantasies are you getting into your head that your husband spends his money, and that it is he who is giving this entertainment to Madame? Please know that it is I; that he only lends me his house, and that you ought to think more about the things you say.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN:
Yes, what impertinence. It is the Count who presents all this to Madame, who is a person of quality. He does me the honor of using my house and of wishing me to be with him.
MADAME JOURDAIN:
All that's nonsense. I know what I know.
DORANTE:
Come Madame Jourdain, put on better gla**es.
MADAME JOURDAIN:
I don't need gla**es, sir, I see well enough; I have had suspicions for a long time, and I'm not a fool. This is very low of you, of a great lord, to lend a hand as you do to the follies of my husband. And you, Madame, for a great lady, it is neither fine nor honest of you to cause dissension in a household and to allow my husband to be in love with you.
DORIMÈNE:
What is she trying to say with all this? Goodness Dorante! You have outdone yourself by exposing me to the absurd fantasies of this ridiculous woman.
DORANTE:
Madame, wait! Madame, where are you going?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN:
Madame! Monsieur Count, make excuses to her and try to bring her back. Ah! You impertinent creature, this is a fine way to act! You come and insult me in front of everybody, and you drive from me people of quality.
MADAME JOURDAIN:
I laugh at their quality.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN:
I don't know who holds me back, evil creature, from breaking your head with the remains of the repast you came to disrupt. (The table is removed).
MADAME JOURDAIN:
(Leaving) I'm not concerned. These are my rights that I defend, and I'll have all wives on my side.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN:
You do well to avoid my rage. She arrived very inopportunely. I was in the mood to say pretty things, and I had never felt so witty. What's that?