Woke up, Saturday, school a million miles away
I went in to the kitchen, to chase the hunger blues away.
I slapped some peanut bu*ter on some bread,
Slipped a pickle in my pocket for the road ahead,
Burped like a kid who’s been well fed,
Then I sidled on out the door.
Then I rode downtown where the gang was hanging ’round,
Went into The Town Pantry to chew the fat with Sammy Brown.
He said, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
But you got something nasty dripping on your schoolboy shoes!
You might be losing some juice you can’t afford to lose,
But my pardon you will have to beg! ”
I had a pickle in my pocket and the juice was running down my leg!
So I ran outside, looking for someplace to hide,
Bumped into Jody Simpson, she looked so pretty that I could have cried.
She took one look at my trousers then she looked at me,
She said, “I bet you left the house and didn’t bother to pee.
Don’t tell me I’m lying ’cause it’s plain to see
And my pardon you will have to beg! ”
I got a pickle in my pocket and the juice is running down my leg!
Jody ran to the gang
“He’s wet his pants! ” she gaily sang.
The gang came running like a dog pack with a jostle and a bang
I was so embarra**ed I was seeing red.
I had a sledgehammer swinging up inside my head,
And at that very moment I wished I was dead,
And their pardons I would have to beg!
I had a pickle in my pocket and the juice was running down my leg!
Then I ran on home, any place I could be alone,
I slammed on through my front door
And started disconnecting all the phones.
I imagined it would be the evening headline news,
“Boy in public urinates all over his shoes! ”
I’d never be rid of these pickle blues
And all the pardons I would have to beg.
For that pickle in my pocket and the juice that ran down my leg!