[Scout]
I got your head spinnin' runnin' circles around you
With a baseball bat that I'm using to pound you
I'll be up in your face in the blink of an eye
No, I don't have wings, but I don't need them to fly
With a couple double jumps, i'll be fleeing the zone
Pick up your intel quick, then I'm bringing it home
I'm a pretty big deal, that's the honest truth
I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?
[Soldier]
About face, maggots, stand at attention
Learn from a soldier who's reached perfection
Forward charge with my RPG
Helmet so low, I can hardly see!
BAM - rocket jumping all over the place
Finish you punks with a shovel to the face
If that don't k** you, it'll break your nose
I hope you weasels are taking notes
[Pyro]
Welcome to my magical candy land
Where smiles are from ear to ear
And everyone loves each other
Come and spread the cheer
[Hook]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
After I pick my cla**
I'm gonna kick your a**
Cuz that's what we were born to do
[Engineer]
Let's set up shop and get to work
I built a health dispenser if you've been hurt
Plus I got plenty of sentry defenses
But do not touch, cuz this stuff's expensive
Auto-aim rockets oughtta wreck you bumpkins
And just in case I need it - self destruction
Step back 'fore I whack you with a wrench
And when my turrets spot you
You're as good as dead
[Heavy]
Cry some more, run while you can
You little babies don't stand a chance
They call me Heavy, this is my gun
When she starts spinning, you'd better run
I do not require brains or technique
I've got so much muscle, i'll never be beat
I'll mow you down wherever you stand, b**h!
Now I am hungry, make me sandvich
(chewing sounds)
Ok, I'm good
[Demoman]
Are you a bleeding idiot?
To fight with a drunken Scot?
I'll down a swig of whiskey
For every grenade I launch
Wherever I go, the explosions follow
So keep your distance, lad
And I carry traditional weapons
I'll bloody you up with an axe
[Hook]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
Pick out my favorite cla**
Check out my fancy hats
I just don't know which one to choose
[Medic]
I'm ze Medic, zo don't go far
You might vant a tazte of my ubercharge
Still a doctor, but I lost my license
Zis could be a problem - Shiza!
I'm alvays ready vith a bloody bone saw
But I can't help much if your head is blown off
Die, schveinhund, I vill vin zis
Don't overdose on my syringes!
[Sniper]
Boom! that's another headshot, bloke
I'm a professional, you're a joke
I mean please mate, show some respect
At least the way I'm doin' it
You'll get a quick d**h
I'm from the outback, where things get hectic
Got a big machete that i'll slice your head with
Aussie Assa**ins aren't very common
But when you hear this (bullet shot), keep on runnin'
[Spy]
You probably know me for my disguise
And I dress as sharp as all my knives
Just when you think I'm on your team
Au revoir, mon cheri
I'm a very accomplished back stabber
Who destroys your equipment with my sapper
Gentlemen, there's a spy in our midst
And he's got plenty of a** to kick
[Hook]
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of TF2
So pick a side, Red or Blue?
After I pick my cla**
I'm gonna kick your a**
Cuz that's what we were born to do