[Verse 1: Dan Lord]
I'm sick of only making peanuts
I'm sick of stale sandwich bread
I've got a plan to make it better
And it begins with a simple punch to my head
Another count and I'm down but I'm wearing him down
Keeping the faith that I've got what it takes
Deride my pride but I'll be alright
I've got a Rocky II lunchbox with bills in it
And I'll scrape by
[Pre-Chorus: Mark "Pose" Milecwicz]
I have seen this on some episode
Of Maude, Fish, CHiPs, or the White Shadow
Rerun in my mind a thousand times
Though I forget the channel
[Verse 2: Dan]
But I am back in my corner with ice packs and water
The champ's right hook changing my good side to bad
Too late to make a run for the van
The doc leans in timidly asking about my health plan
[Pre-Chorus: Pose & Dan]
I can see the referee wants to go home
(homey's got a wife and family)
And my detractors clap their hands and blow their smoke
(Headline news in next day's sportspage.)
With every second that goes by
I don't mind my swollen eyes
[Chorus: Dan & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm making a k**ing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is crying, my wife thinks I'm dying
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round
[Verse 3: Dan]
And as I fall to the floor I don't feel so hardcore
My teeth swinging loose like a drunk girl's caboose
My boys in the corner are pensive and somber (sit down!)
And Father O'Reilly is crossing himself more and more
[Pre-Chorus: Pose & Dan]
I can see the referee wants to go home
(Homey's got a wife and family)
And my detractors move their feet and blow their smoke
(Headline news in next day's sportspage)
[Chorus: Dan & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm making a k**ing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is crying, my wife thinks I'm dying
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round
[Bridge: Dan]
And the room spins round and round'
The victory party's at my place
After my loss and my disgrace
[Chorus: Dan & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm making a k**ing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is crying, my wife thinks I'm dying
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round
You should've never come back
[Spoken segment: "Howard Cosell"]
"Unbelievable. Never in recorded history has one man been beaten, no, POUNDED so badly by another. The opponent, slugging, paralyzed by the champ. The crowd still angrily chanting. When he stepped into the ring, he could have had no idea he'd be facing... apocalypse. One can't help but wonder, WHY?
A loss... of Biblical proportions."