MALE VOICE
I met her in the garden, she was laughing like a drain
We stood too close together, taking shelter from the rain
Shelter from her mother and the blue rinse fire brigade
We stood there in the garden and she called a spade a spade
FEMALE VOICE
You're all hot air and hormones as far as I can see
You think more of your lurchers than you ever do of me
CHORUS (BOTH VOICES)
And I wouldn't say I couldn't be your lover
Not if there was nothing else to be
But if love is what you're dying to discover, darlin'
Don't slit your wrists for me, darlin'
Don't slit your wrists for me
MALE VOICE
She had rings on her fingers and a bone stuck through her nose
She was wearing studs in places where the gardener never goes
FEMALE VOICE
People going to judge us by the company we chose
I can't be seen with somebody who's got the wrong tattoos
MALE VOICE
Well, I've been hearing voices since I was in my teens
Please don't shoot the messenger, they're coming from my genes
CHORUS
MALE VOICE
I met her in the garden, there was no one there to see
We were taking shelter underneath the apple tree
Shelter from her father, who was purple and insane
We stood too close together and she punched me in the rain
BOTH VOICES
Sex is like a chain gang, there are no volunteers
We get handcuffed to a maniac for 60 years
CHORUS 2x