Well he rode from the ocean far upstream
Nuthin' to his name but a code and a dream
Lookin' for the legendary inland sea
Where the water was deep n' clean n' free
But the town he found had suffered a blow
Fish were dying, cause the water was low
Fat cat fish name o' Diamond Dawes
Plugged the stream with copyright laws
He said my water's good n' my water's free
So Pond-erosa, you gonna thank me
Then he bottled it up and he labeled it "Mine"
They opened n' poured, but they ran outta time
So Puff made a brand and he tanned his hide
Said. "this is the mark of too much pride"
Tied him to a horse, set the tail on fire
Slapped er on the a** and the water went higher
Pond-erosa Puff
Wouldn't take no guff
Water oughta be clean and free
So he fought the fight
And he set things right
With his OpenBSD
Well things were good fer a spell in town
But then one day, dang water turned brown
Comin' to the rescue, Mayor Reed
He said, "This here filter's all ya'll need"
But it didn't take long 'fore the filter plugged
Full of mud, n' crud, n' bugs
Folks said "gotta be a gooder way"
Mayor said "Hell No! She's O.K"
"The water's fine on the Open range"
And he pa**ed a law that it couldn't change
"No freeze, no boil, no frolicking young"
Puff took him aside, said "this is wrong"
Then he found the Mayor was addin' the crud
So he took him down in a cloud of blood
Said "The Mayor's learnd, he's done been mean"
So they did it right and the water went clean
So once agin' it was right, but then
The lake went dry, she was gone again
Fish started flippin' and floppin' about
Yellin' "Mercy Puff! It's a doggone drought!"
So he rolled up-gulch till he hit the lake
Of Apache fish, they was on the take
They'd built a dam that was made of rules
Now Puff was pissed and he lost his cool
I'm sick and tired of these goldarn words
N' laws n' bureaucratic nerds
You're full o' beans n' k**in' my town
And if you's all don't shut er down
I'll hang a lickin' on every one
Of you sons o' b**hin' greedy scum
So he blew the dam, an' he let 'er haul
Cause water oughta be free for all
So once agin' it was right, but then
The lake went dry, she was gone again
Fish started flippin' and floppin' about
Yellin' "Mercy Puff! It's a doggone drought!"
That's right
I'll hang a lickin' on ya
Never piss on another man's boot