CHAIRMAN (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all! I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues to give us her well known rendition of the old school song -- Oom-Pah-Pah! NANCY (spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! A bit of culture now! 'Ere we go... (sung) There's a little ditty They're singing in the city Espeshly when they've been On the gin Or the beer If you've got the patience, Your own imaginations Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear... ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! Mister Percy Snodgra** Would often have the odd gla** -- But never when he thought anybody could see. Secretly he'd buy it, And drink it on the quiet, And dream he was an Earl Wiv a girl on each knee! CUSTOMERS AND NANCY Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes. Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows... NANCY What is the cause of his red shiny nose? Could it be...oom-pah-pah!? Pretty little Sally Goes walking down the alley, Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men. They could see her garters, But not for free-and-gratis-- An inch or two, and then she knows
When to say when! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes. Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows... NANCY Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows -- It's the same...oom-pah-pah! She was from the country, But now she's up a gum-tree -- She let a feller feed 'er, then lead 'er along What's the good o' cryin'? She's made a bed to lie in She's glad to bring the coin in, And join in this song! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes! Oom-pah-pah!Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY She is no longer the same blushing rose Ever since ... oom-pah-pah! (spoken) Altogether now! NANCY (sung) There's a little ditty They're singing in the city Espeshly when they've been On the gin Or the beer If you've got the patience, Your own imaginations Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear... COMPANY Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! ALL Oom-pah-pah!