I'm not allowed to miss anyone I willingly left
I thrive and I'm alone and right now I'm vigorous
I have eyes for everyone
and I write in lines of d** cause I use you like I use this
To hide from the light an' moon like an addict
so please, so please, so please
so please let me wipe my feet off on your cheek before I enter your open mind
which just so happens to be an open wound
and just so happens to be just for me
and I just so happen to forget what happens to you when you figure out that you're being used
The lightbulb always comes too late, like I've already burned my escape - an escaped
- I never asked for this cape to be pinned to my back but covers up the finger nail graves and I like the way that makes me feel so I let you let me keep it intact
Dressing up my feelings as fact
you slip the black mask over my face
thats when I learned that great minds think alike
but bad minds think exactly the same
we used each other in bad taste
and I can't change, you can't change
you can't change, you can't change
and I can't change your mind, but I can change your clothes
and I can't make things right but I can get close
I told myself to never write about love,
I told myself to stick to what I know
the more I learn, the more I learn how much I don't
My desire to create and get higher suppreses my urge to want to die right here, to die right now
I want to bury my pain into something and someone else
I'm always looking for an outlet
a being or thing to love
a new outlet for my suffering
chopping up the latest creative drug and I take it to the brain when I breathe it in
the steam, the trip, the energy I get, it's only for one moment
it's strange using your arm like an 8-ball
and using you like a one night stand
and most people won't understand
that my dayjob is rehab and I don't wanna be sober
I don't wanna get to know her
I just wanna unknow myself and be reminded later
it's always darkest before the dawn
but it's darker with sungla**es on
but I wear 'em on in inside because when I create I'm an insomniac
and everyone thinks I'm on crack
but f** it what's the difference?
Dependence is dependence, it depends on the way you look at it
An addict is an addict
and I can't live without it, I don't know how to live without it
I don't know how to function
I'm not somewhere that I haven't been and I'm not good at being home, and I'm not good at sitting still
and my soul has ADHD and I'm definitely mentally ill
and I don't have a prescription for script, I can fill it out for myself
the street runs for street d** and I think think this street leads straight to hell
and I'm on a streak of losing so inevitably time will tell
But I'll tell that I'm telling you that I really don't miss my old self
Or any of the ones that have abused me
because I'm not allowed to
I left 'em so
willingly