[Intro]
Hey.... Hey.... Hey....
[Hook.1]
You did it, you got it
You wowed the world
Of casting agents and cowgirls
Fess up you're dressed up to k** yourself
[Verse 1]
Girl, I'm a walking plane-crash to your moms and dads
Ostentatious and cra** pulling the gauze
Off your scabs
b**h, I negate the myth of the 'great black boyfriend'
In the Polaroid at the get-together
Wearing a corduroy vest-sweater
So don't get that engagement ring engraved
Cause before we met you thought
That hoodrats laid eggs
And that rappers were just sky-pirates with peg legs
But I kick it with you simply for the sh**s and giggles, playful innuendo's
You thought
"He's just an uber-dred for the federal fiscal cap"
But after brunch, you'll need
2 Sudafed's and a disco nap
After I drain your insides with a crazy straw
You ain't my baby doll-
"Cuz n***a you reek of coffee shop blend"
My body's a lollypop that caters to the
Miss polyglot's whim
With addictive agents that outweigh oxycodones
And our phobias perfectly fit
It takes a quirky chick with curvy hips to petrify this working-stiff
[Hook.2]
You did it, you got it
You wowed the world
Of casting agents and cowgirls
Fess up you're dressed up to k** yourself
While I'm still on the shelf
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags
[Verse 2]
I'll be today's avatar of the prefab
Then end up a child star in rehab
It's like a bed-and-breakfast
I'm sending a text message on my key pad
Saying, "I have no more to say
To me ex-manager(slash)sea hag divorcee
Except eat sh** and die"
My daily commute ends with a fender-bender
Cause no one acknowledges my ten-year tenure
I've got the know-how the thrill your scene
But they want someone lowbrow, a philistine
With iron-on irony for Viacom's white honkies
They'll send you a girl wearing
Tight thongs under nylon gi's
"Let's all hit!"
But I'm not for the gaudy g**n
The thought of it turns my member to a soggy plantain
And sh**, I get off on news leads
And you pet mouse meat
Set and poised with s** toys
In your penthouse suite believing you're Lou Reed
I spit used reeds out the wet mouthpiece
Even when s** appeal is taboo
Electric bills are past due
My head is clear of engineered, election year snafu
[Hook.2]
You did it, you got it
You wowed the world
Of casting agents and cowgirls
Fess up you're dressed up to k** yourself
While I'm still on the shelf
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags
[Bridge]
I used to say, f** it
Wouldn't placate the functionaries
Too busy making playdates with buxom secretaries
But I hope that my homies don't laugh
My choreographed dance steps
Are a little effeminate for a sociopath
We've been airbrushed so much we look like a claymation zoo
I'm a voice-over on your Playstation 2
But in my hey-day my ethical fiber
Would turn stages into firewood
[Hook]
You did it, you got it
You wowed the world
Of casting agents and cowgirls
Fess up you're dressed up to k** yourself
While I'm still on the shelf
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags
They want an everyman milking the oldest gags
Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags