A lot of people don't know this but I, Danny Sexbang
Have been quietly working on the s**iest romance novel ever
For the past sixteen years
I would like to share a taste of it with you now
Please enjoy this excerpt from my deeply sensual tale
"Claudia Goes to Schlongtown: Part 6, The Erectening"
Ninja Brian, would you?
"I love penis!" Claudia said to Jeff
Seductively caressing both of her yamyams
"Allow me to get you some from the kitchen"
Jeff said with a twinkle in his eye
"No, not peanuts Jeff! Those aren't the nuts I'm interested in"
She grabbed him on the penis-iest part of his body
"But a peanut isn't a nut," Jeff mansplained. "It's a legume."
Woah Brian, what's the problem?
What do you mean it's not romantic?
I'm an amazing lover and I've lived through this exact scenario hundreds of times
"I feel like we're getting off-topic Jeff" Claudia said
"But now that you mention it, I could go for a peanut bu*ter sandwich"
"Penis bu*ter? I don't think I have any of that." Jeff groaned, hornily
Eat dicks Brian! This is romantic as f**! Do not throw that piano at me again
Fine! I'll cut ahead to the end of the chapter
Claudia and Jeff lay naked in the penis bu*ter tub
On top of the Empire State Building
Their bodies entwined like two s**lampreys
"Should we invite Ninja Brian over?" Claudia asked
"No!" Jeff yelled
"Ninja Brian s**s and his face is lame
And he's stupid and his dick is so small that"
Not the piano!
Ughh my peanuts