Khlestakov, Bobchinsky, and Dobchinsky.
BOBCHINSKY
I have the honor to present myself—a resident of this town, Piotr, son of Ivan Bobchinsky.
DOBCHINSKY
I am Piotr, son of Ivan Dobchinsky, a squire.
KHLESTAKOV
Oh, yes, I've met you before. I believe you fell? How's your nose?
BOBCHINSKY
It's all right. Please don't trouble. It's dried up, dried up completely.
KHLESTAKOV
That's nice. I'm glad it's dried up. [Suddenly and abruptly.] Have you any money?
DOBCHINSKY
Money? How's that—money?
KHLESTAKOV
A thousand rubles to lend me.
BOBCHINSKY
Not so much as that, honest to God I haven't. Have you, Piotr Ivanovich?
DOBCHINSKY
I haven't got it with me, because my money—I beg to inform you—is deposited in the State Savings Bank.
KHLESTAKOV
Well, if you haven't a thousand, then a hundred.
BOBCHINSKY
[fumbling in his pockets] Have you a hundred rubles, Piotr Ivanovich? All I have is forty.
DOBCHINSKY
[examining his pocket-book] I have only twenty-five.
BOBCHINSKY
Look harder, Piotr Ivanovich. I know you have a hole in your pocket, and the money must have dropped down into it somehow.
DOBCHINSKY
No, honestly, there isn't any in the hole either.
KHLESTAKOV
Well, never mind. I merely mentioned the matter. Sixty-five will do. [Takes the money.]
DOBCHINSKY
May I venture to ask a favor of you concerning a very delicate matter?
KHLESTAKOV
What is it?
DOBCHINSKY
It's a matter of an extremely delicate nature. My oldest son—I beg to inform you—was born before I was married.
KHLESTAKOV
Indeed?
DOBCHINSKY
That is, only in a sort of way. He is really my son, just as if he had been born in wedlock. I made up everything afterwards, set everything right, as it should be, with the bonds of matrimony, you know. Now, I venture to inform you, I should like to have him altogether—that is, I should like him to be altogether my legitimate son and be called Dobchinsky the same as I.
KHLESTAKOV
That's all right. Let him be called Dobchinsky. That's possible.
DOBCHINSKY
I shouldn't have troubled you; but it's a pity, he is such a talented youngster. He gives the greatest promise. He can recite different poems by heart; and whenever he gets hold of a penknife, he makes little carriages as skilfully as a conjurer. Here's Piotr Ivanovich. He knows. Am I not right?
BOBCHINSKY
Yes, the lad is very talented.
KHLESTAKOV
All right, all right. I'll try to do it for you. I'll speak to—I hope—it'll be done, it'll all be done. Yes, yes. [Turning to Bobchinsky.] Have you anything you'd like to say to me?
BOBCHINSKY
Why, of course. I have a most humble request to make.
KHLESTAKOV
What is it?
BOBCHINSKY
I beg your Highness or your Excellency most worshipfully, when you get back to St. Petersburg, please tell all the high personages there, the senators and the admirals, that Piotr Ivanovich Bobchinsky lives in this town. Say this: "Piotr Ivanovich lives there."
KHLESTAKOV
Very well.
BOBCHINSKY
And if you should happen to speak to the Czar, then tell him, too: "Your Majesty," tell him, "Your Majesty, Piotr Ivanovich Bobchinsky lives in this town."
KHLESTAKOV
Very well.
BOBCHINSKY
Pardon me for having troubled you with my presence.
KHLESTAKOV
Not at all, not at all. It was my pleasure. [Sees them to the door.]