[Intro: Count Olaf (Neil Patrick Harris)]
I feel good
And a one, and a two, and a (doo-du-doo-du-doo)
[Chorus: Count Olaf's Troupe]
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
[Count Olaf]
Who else has such robust good looks in such a large amount?
I'm handsome and I'm talented, and I love your bank account
[Count Olaf's Troupe]
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
[Verse: Count Olaf]
The C is for courageous, just another word for brave
[All]
O!
[Count Olaf]
Oh my god, what a very handsome knave
[All]
U!
[Count Olaf]
Unbelievable good looks and brains and heart
[All]
N!
[Count Olaf]
Is for the knowledge cause I'm very very smart
[All]
T!
[Count Olaf]
For the talent which is such a crucial factor
When you're handsome and you're talented
and the world's greatest actor
[Chorus: Count Olaf's Troupe]
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
[Count Olaf]
Who else has such robust good looks in such a large amount?
I'm handsome, and I'm talented, and I love your bank account (gong noise)
[All]
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's the count
It's... the... count
[Count Olaf]
The count