Well folks I know I should be saying good night right now But this is Broadway And all great Broadway shows have a closing number, an 11:00 number And oh my gosh, look at the time; it's 11:03 So here we go [To "Tonight"] Tonight, tonight The Tonys were tonight And Elton's Billy was all the rage What cla**, what drive Now Angela won five And she hooked up with Poison backstage With heels as sore as poor Achilles Three tutu-wearing Billys Were such a winning sight Tonight, all three Won Tony plus they hit puberty [To "Luck be a Lady Tonight"] And Geoffrey won a Tony tonight!
Karen won a Tony tonight! Liza at the Palace Mr. Ripley's daughter Alice They all won a Tony tonight! Credits! That's not going to stop me! [To "Tonight"] Chris Sieber - please! Performing on your knees? Dude, that only works To win Golden Globes I hope, tonight When they're high as a kite To be there when the Hair cast disrobes This show could not be any gayer If Liza was named mayor And Elton John took flight The curtain falls I'm off to hit some big Tony balls Goodnight! Good night everybody! Go see a Broadway show!