Gary:
Right now you are down and out
And feelin' really crappy
Nikki:
I'll say
Gary:
And when I see how sad you are
It sorta makes me happy
Nikki:
Happy?
Gary:
Sorry Nikki
Human nature-
Nothing I can do
It's Schadenfreude
Making me feel glad that I'm not you
Nikki:
Now that's not very nice Gary
Gary:
I didn't say it was nice
But everybody does it
'Dya ever clap when a waitress falls
And drops a tray of gla**es?
Nikki:
Yea
Gary:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters
Fallin' on their a**es?
Nikki:
Sure
Gary:
Don't you feel all warm and cozy
Watching people out in the rain?
Nikki:
You bet
Gary:
That's
Both:
Schadenfreude
Gary:
People taking pleasure in your pain
Nikki:
Oh. Schadenfreude, huh? What's that? Some kind of Nazi word?
Gary:
Yup. It's German for 'happiness at the misfortune of others'
Nikki:
'Happiness at the misfortune of others'
That is German!
Watching a vegetarian
Being told she just ate chicken
Gary:
Or watching a frat boy
Realize just what he put his dick in
Nikki:
Being on an elevator when somebody
Shouts 'Hold the door!'
Gary:
Oh yea!
Both:
No!
Schadenfreude
Gary:
f** you lady!
That's what stairs are for!
Nikki:
Ooh- How about:
Straight A student's getting B's
Gary:
Exes getting STDs
Nikki:
Waking doormen from their naps
Gary:
Watching tourists reading maps
Nikki:
Football players getting tackled
Gary:
CEOs getting shackled
Nikki:
Watching actors never reach
Both:
The ending of their Oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Gary:
The world needs people like you and me
Who've been knocked around by fate
'Cause when people see us
They don't want to be us
And that makes them feel great
Nikki:
Sure
We provide a vital service to society
Both:
You and me!
Schadenfreude
Making the world a better place
Making the world a better place
Making the world a better place to be!
Gary:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!