I narrate, it's all legit
Blue lights flash, I bout get sick
I get pulled and I get searched. Just because he saw my ice pick
I also had a tazer with me and a quarter bag of weed
Add 1/2 ounce to that and you got me charged with felonies
But see, it's quite clear to me the deputies at Elkin PD
Are not required to have any type of degree
I mean, how do you f** up a simple finger printing??
Instructions written at the top all you gotta do is read!!
I mean really, how unjustly is it for the dude in custody to be looking at that sh** so subtly and triumphantly at that. But reluctantly triumphantly. Redundancy was uncomfortably consulting me. Due to the fact that I'm in jail, yet I see this dude printing my right hand whenever he's supposed to be printing my left
*ahem*
Sardonic acknowledged cough, that cop was a nit wit
I then got escorted off to Dobson to meet the magistrate
His office's carpet's so discreet I thought it was hardwood floor
My target seat was not received but I still got to sit, I see two more
That's the opposite number of empty seats seen by ICP when they go on tour
I got no bond set for me but instead he said I could be released after the PD received a copy of my parent signature
This adventure so far had made me udder prayers
And at the same time I'm questioning my faith in the Man upstairs
Is anyone up there that cares and if so why did he allow me to get myself into these current affairs?
This can't be happening to me—it's unfair. You seem unaware of me being taken to jail and my feelings of despair
My thoughts were impaired, that's the thing that had me thinking that way
Finally I arrive at DPD He takes me through the breezeway
I'm unrestrained while police say
They need my watch; they need my ring, and any other valuable thing
And then I can go make my phone calls in the backroom
As I'm walking away they're talking bout doing shrooms
Conversing about preaching to the youth
He said it's not like he can admit to doing d** when he was young
Cause the public sees him with a badge and a gun
So now you know what cops talk about when they're alone
I see the room that acquires the phone
I jump on that thing and quickly call my home
And get no answer because no one's there yet so I call my mom and groan
She's still at work and it's registration day
So that means she's gonna be getting off late
She said, "It'll probably be 7:30 or 8. Me and your dad will come get you, sorry, you're just gonna hafta wait."
That's great. Now all my options has failed
I walk back to the personnel, near the dude talking bout doing shrooms as well
Maybe we can kick it cause I got some stories that I can tell too
But no they escorted me to holding cell two
Too many "to's" grouped together
Makes me want to get two tattooists to tattoo two blue tutus onto you tomorrow
But that's too far off to wait, I say 2Pac needs to drop
His hiding place and return to the United States today!
Nothing's there to pa** the time, I'm a prisoner in county and worse off I'm imprisoned in my mind
A few minutes later the door opens and I see this pedophile looking old prisoner guy
He had a banana sandwich to try and some apple juice what a pleasant surprise
The door shuts while that old man's still undressing me with his eyes
It creeped me out cause I know he probably fantasized about doing sumin like humpin me
A little while later the door opens back up but this time I got company and he was drunk
Talking bout, "My girl and me just got caught doing a B&E"
I said, "Well damn my misdemeanors add up to three. And they also charged me with two felonies."
He said, "You'll probably do time."
I say, "I'm getting a lawyer."
He asked if I had one in mind while walking to the corner
Is he drunk or high? Banging on the wall tryna talk to the other side
He says, "My girlfriend's over there."
I'm like, "That wall is concrete. There's no way she can hear you but the cops out there can so you might wanna be discrete."
Finally giving up he says, "I don't mean to be rude but I gotta take a leak."
I say, "Then pee dude." Then the door click clacked and creaked
When it opened a cop looked inside and took a peek
When he pointed at me, emotion had to fill my face
When I walked out the door, I saw my parents and I gave them both a big embrace