I took you out to the Curzon I planned to take you home But you weren't so certain I was looking well; I'd lost a bit of weight But behind my braces I could not articulate That women shun me because I lack life sk**s I was just the ugly kid from school I dreamt that we could be thick as thieves I knew full well it would be bitter sweet We went back to the local Where we had a few, I began to get vocal But your father was the proprietor And when I tried to kiss you, he grabbed me by my shirt
He said “listen up son, I won't sit on the fence You're a hideous pig of no consequence Inside your head lies a cloud of dust And your vile face offends the both of us” Then they kicked me into the swimming pool Around my neck they hung a noose I scream bail out in futility I scream bail out, they just humour me And I'm overcome but I never ought to Fall in love with the landlord's daughter I could not swim I was crushed