[Verse 1]
Ladies, ladies, the eternal mystery
Through my history they've acted rather sisterly
Or they would tend to want to mother Mister B
They were never after me and I never dastardly
So I never got respect from the hoes
Too few 'yesses' and too many 'no's'
I suppose if one's a gentleman as part of one job
One can't make a lady have a go on one's
Robert Mitchum was a lad and a bit of a cad
But my attempts at that sort of thing were rather bad
I'm glad though, I am, to be be a gentleman
Holding doors open and helping your gran
Across the road but never toadying
It fills me with foreboding
Like posing in draylon and pensioner bling
So I'm not a chap to take liberties
But when once they would have scorned little B
[Chorus]
Now they curtsey for me, curtsey for me
When once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
Back in they day they were all nitpickers
Now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
Pop that front leg out, and drop into a little bow
That's how the ladies greet me now!
From Saltburn to Guildford
They bend their knees in the most lady-like way
In Southend-on-Sea, they terrorise me
But their obediencey is a lovely display
For now they..
[Chorus]
Curtsey for me, curtsey for me
When once upon a time they might have rather ignored me
I like bit of hogging, when I'm in town dear
Bow your pretty noggin and while you're down there
Pop the front leg out, and drop into a little bow
That's how the ladies greet me now!
[Bridge]
In Henley, they bend knees!
In Forest Gate, they prostrate!
In Guildford, they make me feel good!
In Puckpool, they... No
(trumpet solo)
[Verse 3]
In Ken-sing-ton, bend-ing down
That's a sight to see, truly I say!
On Hampstead Heath, skirts can be brief
But then what's underneath can make a chap run away
[Chorus]
When they curtsey for me
Curtsey for me
When once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
Back in they day they were all nitpickers
Now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
Pop the front leg out, and drop into a little bow
That is how the ladies greet me now!