When we first met I was planning a career in bounding, I liked the way that was sounding
Gadding it about with numerous girls, without so much as a care in the world
But a brief introduction from a dear old chum kicked that theory right up the old bum
And when it got to about date 9 or 10, the time came when I had to think again
And revise my plans for the life of a cad; I'm afraid I'd got it rather bad
You'd won me over with your womanly charms and now I hold you in my arms
As we watch UK Street Crime on Bravo +1, then off to bed when the washings done
Breakfast in the morning as we watch the sea beat the Brackstock Road, I'm sure you'll agree
Lady C, Oh, Lady C, now you have invaded me
We can just relax (and have a cup of tea)
Lady C, Oh, Lady C, now you've come to stay with me
We shall not look back (not bloody likely!)
I like the way you cook and clean
And help me with my gangster lean
You're awfully good at striking poses
And even your fumosities smell of roses!
You make me smile like no one can
You make me a better man
So I must say thanks again
For stopping me becoming a ma**ive w*** stain!
Lady C, Oh, Lady C, now you have invaded me
We can just relax (and have a cup of tea)
Lady C, Oh, Lady C, now you've come to stay with me
We shall not look back (not bloody likely!)
Have a cup of tea…
Not bloody likely!