DAD: There are Jews in the world There are Buddhists There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammad, but I've never been one of them I'm a Roman Catholic And have been since before I was born And the one thing they say about Catholics is: They'll take you as soon as you're warm You don't have to be a six-footer You don't have to have a great brain You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came Because Every s**m is sacred Every s**m is great If a s**m is wasted God gets quite irate CHILDREN: Every s**m is sacred Every s**m is great If a s**m is wasted God gets quite irate GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay for Each s**m that can't be found CHILDREN: Every s**m is wanted Every s**m is good Every s**m is needed In your neighbourhood
MUM: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon Spill theirs just anywhere But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care MEN: Every s**m is sacred Every s**m is great WOMEN: If a s**m is wasted,... CHILDREN: ...God gets quite irate PRIEST: Every s**m is sacred BRIDE and GROOM: Every s**m is good NANNIES: Every s**m is needed... CARDINALS: ...In your neighbourhood! CHILDREN: Every s**m is useful Every s**m is fine FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's: MOURNER #1: Mine... MOURNER #2: And mine... CORPSE: And mine! NUNS: Let the Pagan spill theirs O'er mountain, hill, and plain HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for Each s**m that's spilt in vain EVERYONE: Every s**m is sacred Every s**m is good Every s**m is needed In your neighbourhood Every s**m is sacred Every s**m is great If a s**m is wasted God gets quite irate