Well the upper hand is a funny thing 'cause it disappears like your
car keys if you're careless. I was on the upside once, but I'm on the
flipside now, and it's getting pretty lonely down here. And we don't
have to go to Paris this year. I have suspended my disbelief for too
many nights now and it's all come crashing down. And as my head hits,
my heart is broken cause you haven't spoken a word. Every time I get
my breath back I am more callused than I was the day before, and maybe
today I will be too tough to let you back into my world. Well I won't
pretend that I don't get sad when you say my name without smiling,
like you used to. And I won't pretend that I'm not afraid to walk out
the door and get over you like I think I have to. But don't, don't
let me walk away this time 'cause I am not ready to close the book on
us just yet, just yet. And oh, I keep wondering why I have so many
more sad songs than happy ones, and I look for where the disjuncture
lies between how I can feel for you and how I do feel today. And I
promised my friends that I will not be hurt again. And I promised
myself that I will not, I will not be hurt again. A little over a
year we've both thrown so much bullsh** each other's way. And I have
no claim to say that anything will change, and what I don't know is if
I need to be alone. And I... I'm so scared you'll find a girl. And
if anything is evident in all that I have come to claim, it's that I
am so confused. If anything is evident in all that I have come to
say, it's that I am so still in love with you. We don't have to go to
Paris this year....