I'm sitting alone at the bottom of the stairs, pretending to read with
my head in my hands, and there's this pain in my stomach, that I know
I can contain. I'm just sitting alone at the bottom of the stairs,
and my self defenses are telling me not to care, they say you're
stronger than this, you're stronger than most. I'm sitting alone at
the bottom of the stairs, wondering if I should have said more. If
for once I could have opened my mouth and let down my guard. But no
one can crack me I am like a stone, because that way it doesn't hurt
so much when it's dropped, and no one can come in unless I want them
to.
I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry, not over you, anymore.
A year ago today we sat down beside Sam, and you said that we needed
to talk, we were stupid, and I think now that I just liked the urgency
of your voice. And I'm sorry that when you told me you cared, I
replied because you knew that I didn't, but did you know that I tried?
I just didn't want to lose the heart that you might have seen in me.
You said I was flying at 30,000 feet, and you were right cause I was
but now I have fallen for the first person I believe could love me and
still be my friend. This is not a love song, it's not even about you,
but somehow you spoke to me at just the right time, and I started on
your twelve step program, and now you've left me alone.
I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry, not over you, anymore.
We were not meant to be so I'm closing this chapter. In case we were
wondering, this is our answer, and I only hope I've shown you as much
as you have shown me. Don't look so funny, I don't mean to be a
downer, I still need you to laugh, I still want you to talk to and I
don't feel alone now but if I did I'd be standing alone. Cause you
opened me up, and I bled, it was good for me. I bet you are smiling
and that's all I want. It's hard to admit that I have been cracked,
so you can finish my sentence, now. Oh.... I'll wake up and call you
tomorrow, or you'll call me tomorrow, and you will get through.