Every day above ground is a good day for me
Faith
Faith be no easy task
For me
Believing in things often feels like a game of darts
When I do indeed believe in something
Someone usually takes that thing and nooses it to the hip of a Train I'll never be able to catch
No matter how fast I run
Always arrive at the platform an inch too late
Stuck there
Checking my watch like,
"How did I not make it?"
Like I prayed in everything and I watched
As my faith fades like an outro
Away
Like grey towards the horizon
I so badly
Just want things
I know
I can count on
In this vain I am luckier than most
For when all else fails I know I can count on my mother
She is still my lighthouse
She is the only infinity tangible enough to touch
Without her I have no instruments
No Instruments at all
When I fall
When I fall I know I can count on my father
If all else fails I can count on him to be honest
You can count on the fact that he done raised me like between rock and hard place
like floor of rainforest with pores that sweat pride
Oh the wise of that man!
Oh the home of those hands that I hate
Hate
Hate to need
Need so much
But those damn things done taught me everything that I trust
Beyond doubt
I know I can count on my brother
And any words here will be a disservice
But Bro
I hold you dear and warm
Like day does dawn
Like You're me soon but I hope not
I hope you stay as morning as you are now
As full with hope
And to poise of 6 am syruping behind those eyes
That skyline of a smile
So wide
Yet
So void of lies
I can count on your spine
And you can count on mine
And we can count on the sky
Though it be grey sometimes
Hard to pray sometimes
In a world
Where medicine saves lives
But
Science seems to do its best to disprove God
In a world where best friends
Best friends
Come and go like tides
But cigarettes stay
20 in a pack burn straight every time
So I can count on smoke
And I can count on wine
And I can't count on time
Or all the times that I've sinned
But I also can't count the times I've tried again
So I can count on my pen
I can count on my heathen
I can count on my human
I can count on the seasons
to past
and reasons not to last
The meaning of life will illude me
And sunsets will seduce me
But I can count on the mountains
I can count on the sea
I can count on the wind
I can count on the breeze
And the trees and the bees
Like this some Shel Silverstein sh**
But real sh**
Real sh**
Real sh**.
This motherf**in sidewalk don't end
It dips and it curves it turns left and it bends
Sometimes back to the beginning
But there exists no map
You'll never know when you're winning
And I hate to admit it
But I can't count on a God damn thing
This is the trauma of being
Mama gon die one day.
My father's word will unfurl
My brother's smile will curl
The mountains will crumble
Will move
The sea will stumble
Past the levees
Leave your city in a permanent dust
You can trust that the wind
Will carry your girl to another man's bed
And that's okay
I'm learning how to surrender
And that's okay
I can't count on tomorrow
But
Why would I want to because
Today
Today
and only
Today
You are the oldest you have ever been and the youngest you ever will be
Know that
This is one small man
With one big heart
In this prison of seven billion
No happy ending
But God does it feel good to be here