Miss Katie had an awful birth
That came out sideways with one tooth
And Uncle Barney had no skin
He fell into the cotton gin
Miss Katie's dad was a mountain man
He kept his teeth in a coffee can
And grandpa was a drunken soul
He drank moonshine from a copper bowl
And no one knows that would ever tell
Moon shines in the wishing well
Miss Katie married a mighty man
He held a chainsaw in one hand
She ran like hell into the corn
With a babe no more than three days old
And no one knows that would ever tell
Moon shines in the wishing well
Barney roams the mansion hall
With a rope that he bought at the Dollar Store
It was a quiet night when he heard the rain
Knocking at the window pane
One day Miss Katie's dad was gone
They found his clothes down by the pond
And no one knows that would ever tell
Moon shines in the wishing well
But she was all alone when she felt the snow
Knocking at the attic door
Well, she hung herself in the mansion hall
With the rope that got from her old grandpa
Miss Katie had an awful birth
That came out sideways with one tooth
Well, she ran in the moonlight through the corn
With a babe no more than three days old
And no one knows that would ever tell
Moon shines in the wishing well
And Uncle Barney had no skin
When he came out of the cotton gin
And then he tripped on a cat and he broke his a**
And he crawled to the phone through the broken gla** – he was mad!
And no one knows that would ever tell
Moon shines in the wishing well
Well, if you want to know the story's end
I guess you'll just have to pretend
‘Cause I ain't gonna tell you any more
‘Cause Uncle Barney's at the door – and he's mad!