[Intro]
Joy to the world, America!
[Verse 1]
Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in
We'll gather at the Road House with our next of kin
*(next of kin)*
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing
We'll decorate a barstool and gather round and sing
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear...
[Verse 2]
It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my bar
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you ba*tards touch my car!
*(touch my car)*
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till
I think that that right jolly old elf had better make out his will!
Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all
[Outro]
And this can be the haziest…
*(Pain don't hurt)*
This can be the laziest…
*(Be nice until it's time not to be nice)*
This can be the Swayziest Christmas of them all!
It stinks!