Started out of necessity We were so broke and so hungry In this world of food for cash Got no choice its stuff and dash Now we got that dread disease Bulging pockets full of cheese The narcs are at the electric door I drop the goods right on the floor [Chorus:] I'm a kleptomaniac We're all kleptomaniacs Never ever give it back Hey a**hole what you looking at (Steal or starve is where it's at) Franco's got a special coat Stole enough juice to fill a moat Al's ripping off some smokes
Reshelving those half empty cokes Cruise the aisles and pocket goods They'd jail us if they only could Get the cashier's dirty looks She knows we're all a bunch of crooks [Chorus] Your inventory's short at Hughes Cala Foods is paying dues Safeway's filing Chapter Eleven I pray we don't gotta rip off heaven We ain't telling you what to do Just saying what we been through Don't come crying to us for bail When they drag your a** on down to jail [Chorus]