[Intro: MC Paul Barman singing]
You love my sausage, girl
You love to squeeze it
Like I do
[Someone in background]
Rolling!
[Intro: MC Paul Barman talking]
Yeah
It's like a whole bunch of beautiful Slinkies hanging off my head
I am so much cuter than that horrible little girl in the Pepsi commercials
You know, I was thinking about her
I want to destroy her because she's so irritating and you know she's being put in my face and everything on TV
Like, have you seen the one with her in KISS makeup?
Ugh, it makes me want to chuck her off the stage
But then I was thinking…
Dude, so many people are thinking that about me
You know, those horrible photographs of me aren't my fault
The good ones aren't my fault either for that matter
But it's like, when you're put out in the world, it's like an, it's like an affront to the audience unless it's just the best ever
I mean I am the best ever but sometimes it's not enough
[Verse 1: MC Paul Barman]
A Byzantine stream of jizz and steam
Seems to have caused chaos like
A color-deficient kid who finds
A box of unlabeled Cray-Pas in kindergarten
Am I a flash in the pan slash ash in the sand?
Is it half-a**ed or will I laugh last
With some cash in my hand?
It's a heartfelt experiment
They'll say it's art-felt with merriment
And also remember with the Beach Boys' use of the Theramin not
The typical braggin' stance
Actin' all that with the diagonal straps
How it puts face in the saggin' pants
All you've read are my lyrics
Graffiti in Dragonlance – Sorry!
The mighty Hercules
I'm rockin' Army-Navy
What my mommy gave me
And tidy Purplese
This verse goes out to Hirsch
With love for what it's worth
And I'll never forget the time
Austin got lost in Boston because it rhymed