[Hipster Mom:] Oh my God, I never thought Id ever hear MGMT again but guess who popped up on the Yo Gabba Gabba! Spotify station yesterday? Shes late for baby yoga, but shes looking hella fly breastfeeding out in public catching everybodys eye with her brand new Orbit stroller and her probiotic smoothie at Whole Foods checking prices on that tasty vegan sushi with that Adbusters mag and her artisan toast shes always shopping local and avoiding GMOs scoping out the Lululemon infant line on her phone using Amazon Mom cause shes always on the go watching GIRLS on HBO, really takes her back to the Bushwick parties, and the vinyl stacks she misses Cafe Grumpy, and Brooklyn Label but when shes back on Franklin she can never get a table she remembers Luna Lounge, where she pa**ed out flyers for an underground band named Arcade Fire before Leena Dunham was successful and paid Hipster Girl was on the L, trying to find her way Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay [Hipster Mom:] This may seem like a stupid question, but is breast milk vegan? Can I call you back in a bit? I have to Skype my lactation consultant. She looks so good when she shops organic Because she cares about her baby and the future of our planet But life has gotten hectic, now that shes become a mom though the charter school waiting list isnt all that long and the Mandarin immersion that they offer every morning combines a bit of Waldorf and a bit Montessori and their rooftop playground has an urban petting zoo with recycled wood chips and a Manhattan view because her Greenpoint sublet had to go Bedford got too crowded and shed seen enough shows So she married a designer and moved to Park Slope Found a nice Brownstone and they took out a loan
And her Etsy store has been doing great since Ellen Paige, Instagrammed her diaper bouquets Before the Starbucks down on Union sold soy lattes There was Hipster Girl trying to find her way Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay Well Hipster Girl grew up and now she makes it rain Amber teething necklace that she bought fair tradeVegan chocolate cake for babys first birthday And Hipster Mom is ding okay [Hipster Mom:] Did you hear? Jessica had an elective epidural? Its like she doesnt even care about the health of her newborn, how basic. No more TV on the radio its NPR where she heard the interview in her husbands car with her ex-fianc who had gone EDM but ever since her wedding it was hard to stay friends and his Coheed hoodie with the dragon fly? Shed kept it in her closet as the years went by whos Cry Tonight about? asked Terry Gross "A girl I knew in Brooklyn we were once very close Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane But Hipster Mom is ding okay Well Hipster Girl grew up and now her world has changed The vintage Slayer onesie has begun to fade Still on the second page of Fifty Shades of Grey But Hipster Mom is doing okay Yeah Hipster Mom is doing okay [x3] [Hipster Mom:] Are you kidding? Of course Im not going to let her wear pink. Didnt you see the Huffington Post article on Facebook this morning? Gender roles are so pa**. Thats why Im siding with Blossom on the whole Frozen controversy. Have you seen Blackfish? It is so sad. There is no way were ever going to have a party at Sea World ever. Do you think the gold iPhone 6 clashes with her indigo aura?