[phone conversation sample]
[MC Lars]
Quiet!
Martin loved Susie, they had it made
They'd been the best of friends since the second grade
They grew up and went to college different states
But promised that they'd get married if they never found mates
Well the years pa**ed by
And what do you know?
They saw each other after college at an Atmosphere show
They dated and had fun being back together
Susie came over for Christmas and gave Martin a sweater
They decided there and then they were meant to be
So one night Martin got down on his right knee
But Susie said "one second!" as her cellphone rang
It was her college ex-boyfriend Philip Teng
"I want you back" the voice with much veracity
Susie said, "I do too!" with much alacrity
So Martin sat dejected, rejected and alone
If only Susie had turned off her cellphone
Turn your cellphone off
Turn your cellphone off
X4
His father Daryl Teng was afraid to fly
But he packed his bags and kissed his son goodbye
He got on the airplane at O'Hare Airport
On his way to Phoenix to testify in court
As his flight took off, he thought about his family
And his Boston cousin David who just turned 53
He took out his Blackberry, wrote a birthday email
Dangerous live drive-thru ATM braille
See, when airplanes take off, put your gadgets away
They mess up communication and lead to disarray
As the plane crashed over Wilcox, Nebraska
Daryl felt like Will Rogers leaving Barrow Alaska
It interfered with navigation without any hesitation
Causing tragic interference and general devastation
A grim situation, it all seemed very scary
This never would have happened if Phil turned off his Blackberry
Turn your Blackberry off
Turn your Blackberry off
X4
David Williams had a heart attack, eating on a chocolate snack
Died in aisle four in fact
Falling right onto his back
Years of eating Twinkies had taken its toll
So God came town and claimed his Epicurean soul
His brother got his comics
His friend got his computer
The Salvation Army got his pogs and razor scooter
As for his wife Lorraine she grieved the whole year through
She found a younger lover Martin who was lonely too
The funeral was grim as they lowered David's corpse
His grade school friends showed up and gave their support
It went according to plan until the unexpected
There was a ringing from the ground the mortician had neglected
Mr. Williams was connected posthumously
To the land of electronics for all eternity
The bills could've been ridiculous
They dug up David quick
We all know he never went anywhere without his Sidekick
Turn your Sidekick off
Turn your Sidekick off
Turn your cellphone off
Turn your cellphone off
Turn your Blackberry off
Turn your Blackberry off
You're not that important
You're not that important
Quiet!