You've got medicine stage, it helps you paint the cartoon illness that runs right through your veins and wasted days. You've got frequency fame, send a message to the wasted "don't tip the man behind the bar today". When it comes to your veil threat I'm about to lose my sh**. But I can see that you're not a real gun, just a plastic one.
You can't demonstrate a reason for me to feel bad you brought this on in the same selfish way as when you put your pen to page. It makes you feel you're something pure but you're not that brave. That's why you waste away.