I grasped,
clawed through layers of love and want:
I'm desperate - we're disparate.
I must a blend a**ign to bind us both together -
let us meld forever in a settling song -
not the rawness of your animal -
an idée fixe on self, gorging at a breast;
you cannot as my angst behave - for you I gave!
you're part of mine in genes and memes
from cream of him and egg of me;
we are as three -
though heavy do you loll upon my frame,
commanding this, demanding that.
Should you tear a gash of depth across my skin
it bears the inner me,
or dare to open up my cranium
and let the flowing sea of
everything I am discharge into your world -
my own peculiar mix of human essence -
memories; harmonies;
wannabes; mimicries;
my very s**uality! that writhes in dreams
of day and night, fuelling tumults of emotion
simmering under valves, controlled by other valves
and valves that let my heart resound in thuds -
that you would actually snub for profit on your ego;
and should you focus on my heart,
dissect my chambers wide apart
and let it bleed away my life -
deny the meaning of my role,
resign my grey and hoary soul to
wraith or ghost or fading shadow
stretching out a mighty mediocrity,
then what do YOU become?
I could only know this if
I did the same to you
and let your fleshy guts of life and being
enlighten me upon their cold escape.
So let me study deep your selfish eyes
to glean the mind that hides within;
but all I see are my unanswered pleas,
discounted, jaded, wearing thin.