I can see myself preach on a windblown beach
To a leaning, hungry bunch
And then the cannibals said we got no bread
Please, won't you stay for lunch?
Well, I think I must be leavin' so excuse me if you dare
Think I'd rather go back to the USA
And preach to the backbiters there
Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie
I never want to end up in a missionary pie
I can see myself float in a dug out boat on the river Amazon
With piranhas in my bathtub, spiders in my cut-off long-johns
And when I hand out gospel tracts, the natives try to eat them
Think I'd rather go back to the USA
Where they sometimes try to read them
Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie
I never want to end up in a missionary pie, ow
I can see my knees knock in the dark boondocks, the reverend jungle gym
And the crocodiles chew on my tennis shoes, and just to be polite, I grin
And just about the time I start up to preach, a pygmy bites my knee
Think I'd rather go back to the USA
And preach to thou and thee
Use me where I am, dear Lord, I cannot tell a lie
I never want to end up in a missionary pie, oh no